Thinking on the move - the snap out

The fleet foxes were weaving their magic. Perception and reality never collided so violently ever before. The haze in my mind was begging me to let go. While the me; fettered to the iron pillar protested. "Stay, dont sway, stay, dont sway....." I seemed to chant. What appeared to be a split in the path from a few miles up the road, was drawing ever too close now. The harmonious words in the air fed my inner most desires. I concluded that I was still sane enough for the world when I found myself not being able to see how it could all happen; how it would all come to pass if I did not persevere now. I understood many things at that point of time, and it did not gush in like an epiphany, rather eased itself in, and lounged into my brain, waiting for my attention. The dream I had about an hour ago, did not seem to help. It almost felt like I had seen it all before. The street outside looked too proper with diffused sunlight sprinkling a feel good spirit on portland street. Yet again, I had warded off an attack from the brighter side.

Things will be different from now, I truly believe. I will need to use certain friends who do not frequent my mental cafe and I will need to keep them entertained, but for a short while. Once I get past the rapids, they'll stay on without persuasion. Tori Amos is now the entertainer. She croons to the magic of her own fingers; "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high...." she sings. Music inspires me and is usually my first and last resort by default these days. But selfishness, in all its disguises is the best motivation a human can ever get. The pain in her voice completes the process and I am left staring at my laptop, no more an object demanding negligence, but a tool that will get me through the next few months, into the dreamed of life.

Eatable Quotes - motivation in motion

I dont lack motivation. But I'd appreciate it if it did not run away every 5 minutes.

Night tune

Kiss the shadows
Of this night so cold
Wrap yourself in a blanket
Of memories and smiles

Hang around in the backyard
Of your far away mind
Pick the flowers u want
And hold them to your heart.

The streets are foretelling
I see the leaves falling
Shimmering with the dreams
We set out to own.
Can you make the leaves
Fall again?
And get these colours to fly,
To fly.

Through it all but,
Still the same old sting.
Heard it all before
And now you want to sing.

You've played your part
I've tried to play mine
What can we ever do if,
There isn't enough time?

The streets are foretelling
I see the leaves falling
Shimmering with the dreams
We set out to own.
Can you make the leaves
Fall again?
And get these colours to fly,
To fly.

Pull me back

This perspective has an effect on me
I dont think that it will let me be.
No you wont get off cheap,
On your way, well on your way, freak.

I've let myself take over me
Zooming into the next level.
I guess you'll know the road is rough,
When the tires start coming off.

Drifting into the place I want to be
These words, they lock my doors.
I see them standing by the highway
Pointing fingers at your excited face.

A hopeful evening stolen well,
To catch a glimpse of that smile
She dances on the edge of the eye
And explodes into the brain.

I know we cant save us both
We'll need her to set us free.
Splash into my song and please
Pull me right into your breeze.

Definitions - time and state

Yesterday - Mostly a photo album with my best and worst pictures and rarely, the battered object of my analytical and philosophical quests. Strangely, I tend to confuse it with tomorrow.

Today - just another page, smeared and blotched with yesterday's ink, another moment to lose myself in.

Tomorrow - a song, a time to celebrate / regret today and yesterday and the days before.

Regret - a feeling of letting someone, but mostly myself down.

Hope - the most misunderstood and cliched word in the history of mankind - yet it seems to serve its purpose.

Determination - a substantial cousin of hope, but bears no kinship to the future.

Happiness - a state of being where all of the above add up to a smile that spreads warmth.

Freedom - the privilege of retaining the smile.

Why cant I

It runs like a movie in my head
Churning frames by the second
Black and white and grainy
Quaking as much as I'm shaken.

I picture the white paths I walk
Devouring the land, I'm smiling
Will it fill the void I'm feeling?
Or is it the illusion thats playing?

Its a question to no one
No one's gonna answer
But still I ask why?
Why cant I?

Its what I have to do?
There's no other way you say?
Listen to yourself and think again
If you've thought enough.

The smallness I feel shatters all
Convention killed, I can float free.
Chasing the gossamer I feel
Like the kid who ran his summer away.

Its a question to no one
No one's gonna answer
But still I ask why?
Why cant I?

Tell me please, Close my eyes
Tell me why, why cant I?
Chant those words of wisdom again
Tell me why, why cant I?

Bunch O' my Brain - Arbit Sunday morning blues

Its not the first time,
I've wanted to sound this strong
Its not the first time
I've felt like I dont belong.